Logo Slate Animation

[orbital]

Its bee a long time since I posted. Here is a logo slate animation that I am working on for my short film I just finished. I wanted some feedback while its still in the early stages. A girl turns around then a sound catches her attention and she pulls out a gun while turning then fires. The logo appears as the gun residue on the wall.

The file site is here: http://thelift.kohrtoons.com

Here is the Key Animation, I am starting the breakdowns tonight:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HHETThK8E8[/youtube]

[Moonman]

Looks good. Looks damb good actually, but I did see a possible issue with the last two keyframes.

The second to last frame seem too far turned too suddenly. To me it would be easier to read if it wasn't as fully turned, especially regarding the arm holding the gun (3). Also, the general stance the girl takes for the last frame seems 'weak'. Such a quick turn wouldn't lead to the legs being so close like that. It would be more dynamic and stable for a gun shot if the legs were wider apart (4).

Another idea is to try for a 'whip it out' that might work better for the quick timing, foregoing the 'holding up the gun' pose entirely (1,2). I made some drawings in case none of that made sense.

[orbital]

Thanks a lot Moonman, you gave me some really good ideas. I also like the head tilt. I will post this a little further along soon.

[faroukbaaaaa]

exactly what moonman said
sound advice

[orbital]

I didn't get back to it as fast as I had hoped. Thanks for your help guys!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUwwBTklqMI[/youtube]

EDIT - I got some other feedback on this including making the accent on her surprise more impactful and when she pulls the gun, in this version she just swings it up while now i am having it come up and over her head. I will post again soon.

[orbital]

Okay here is a newer one

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPMtSNL5w4s[/youtube]

[Moonman]

Fantastic! The only issue I saw was that having the other arm come up after she already has the gun out and pointed kinda robs the moment of it's 'snap'. I don't know how far into this you are, but if possible, I'd suggest having the non-gun hand come up sooner so that it's more like the two arms are meeting at the same spot rather than having the gun hand waiting for the other arm to come up.

[orbital]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8LnsRZrpTA[/youtube]

Just wanted to post the final. Thanks for all your help Moonman.

BTW - Animate Pro works so nice for this stuff, made it so much faster to color and paint and shade!

[Hazart]

Nice work!