I finally saw KOTCS last night. Of course, I'd read the reviews etc and knew what to expect. So before the showing, I made sure to lower my expectations as far as they could possibly go. Then I bashed my head repeatedly with a mallet until 90% of my brain cells were dead. And then as the lights dimmedi n the theatre I completely switched off what was left of my brain.
But I still couldn't believe how bad the movie was.
I genuinely couldn't understand how professional filmmakers with years of experience could concoct such a shambolic mess that systematically destroys everything that was good about the franchise. I mean, if they had INTENDED to kill off the franchise, they couldnt have done a better job.
And then it occured to me.
They DID intend to kill the Indy franchise.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been DELIBERATELY designed to be abysmal. Just think about it:
Gophers; Nuking the fridge; promising there'll be no CGI and then drowning the movie in CGI; the fan-baiting Shia Leboeuf; interminable meaningless exposition; carrying around an unimpressive "crystal" skull made of tin foil and cling film that lazily gets them out of tight spots; falling off THREE waterfalls; Mutt swinging with the monkeys; bad ideas borrowed from the Mummy Returns; the flying saucer; bringing back Karen Allen but NOT bringing back marion Ravenwood; ending with a cheesy wedding; that final "passing the hat" scene.....
Guys, Indy 4 is THE BIGGEST PRACTICAL JOKE EVER PLAYED ON THE MOVIE-GOING PUBLIC.
Every last detail of KOTCS has been DELIBERATELY designed for MAXIMUM annoyance to the fans. It's blindingly obvious. This is George Lucas' revenge for the reception we've given the Star Wars prequels and the constant hatred directed at him. I guarantee, I GUARANTEE that Lucas bet Spielberg that the he could make the shittiest possible movie and that it would STILL be a huge box office smash. He set out to prove that we would swallow anything, no matter how stupid - and he's been proven right.
So there you have it, folks. The biggest practical joke ever pulled -and the joke's on us. You've just gotta laugh.
And those that did should NOT have to defend themselves for it!!
cartoonshane wrote: I and others have gone into specifics about what we feel is so wrong with it, so I'd love to hear what specifically people are enjoying about it.
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